off the grid

it has been more than two weeks since my last post, and that should come as no surprise to you if you talk to me on a regular basis. thanks to a grueling work schedule, i've checked out in a lot of ways, practically cutting off all communication with those who aren't in the closest circle of my life - my mom, boyfriend, best friend and roommate. its been exhausting, but exhilarating, too, because i feel fulfilled by my job for the first time ever. it just feels right, even if it is overwhelming.

last week, i had events - parties, fashion shows, spring collection previews - every single night during the week. this week, i have to be at events first thing in the morning three days straight. and by first thing i mean 8 a.m., two hours earlier than i usually get to work.

but i don't care. i have work on 10 issues since i started at my job just over two months ago, and i've published more than 20 articles with bylines (actual number unknown). i have also written a number of entries for our most recent issue - the power 100 list - which was one reason i have been so stressed and overworked at work recently. i worked on those pieces while working on articles for two other issues -- essentially juggling 15 pieces all at once. i feel productive, smart, useful and needed. last week, my boss looked at me and gave me a thumbs up. "you're doing a heck of a job!" she said. and she meant it. no sarcasm there. i was pretty flattered.

however, i am nervous about the possibility of losing my job due to the economic hardships currently rocking the publishing industry. its a horrible thought, because i feel like i have worked so hard to finally get to this amazing place and this ideal job. but its all we talk about anymore at work and among friends. which magazines are closing, who is cutting jobs, ad pages are down, scary, scary, scary. for us, the industry that we cover - retailers and manufacturers of men's wear - they are having a tough year, and they have consequently cut back on their advertising budgets, and our edit pages are way down. i wouldn't feel bad if i lost my job due to the recession, but i would be unhappy and unemployed. at least then i would get to blog more.

keep your fingers crossed for me.