boston common?

i happened upon the first issue of Boston Common magazine today. its boston magazine's newest competition and so i thought i would investigate. also, i got a chance to talk to the founder of the publishing group that puts out BC (and gotham, hamtons, etc) for a story that i checked last issue. he's a BU grad. i don't think he cared when i told him i had just graduated from there, but i thought we bonded a little.

anyway, there was a cute article in BC that i wanted to share with my friends who once did or still do call boston their home.

"attitude adjustment"

they say that the real beauty of hawaii is its people. no one would ever say that about boston. we are cantakerous, moody, and suspicious. if you are friendly, warm, and open, you are definitely from somewhere else.

we have seasonal affective disorder all four seasons. we are never happy. the summer is too hot or clammy, too sticky or muggy. the winter is too cold and it never ends. the fall is ominous, and the spring lasts 20 minutes and is irrelevant.

when its a nice day, whatever you do, don't acknowledge it. if you say "nice day" to a bostonian, expect a response of either, "yeah, we won't get many more of these," or "yeah, well, we waited long enough." and please don't say it to someone working inside -- you may see any number of homicidal outcomes.

but we are a city in transition -- we have the world champion boston red sox and the world champion new england patriots -- and we no longer know who we are. eighty-six years of bitching and moaning about the sox have established out bitter personality and bleak worldview, and now we are forced to deal with being winners. we are like east berliners after the wall went down --now what do we do? who are our role models?

perhaps we should look to new yorkers to teach us to be smug and say things like, "yeah, boston's a great little town. my daughter goes to BU and loves it there." or, "please send this back and tell the cook to cook it this time." maybe we should become a little LA and "do" lunch rather than eat it.

maybe its time for bostonians to learn to smile and celebrate the glorious history of our great city. it could be time to stop and smell the flowers in the public garden. naaaah. like tim robbins said in mystic river, "what this city need is a good crime wave" -- just to make us feel at home.