15 months

i worked at forbes for almost exactly 15 months, and at the time i realized that it was the longest i had ever held a job. i guess that wasn't surprising, considering it was my first full time job ever.

when i left my last job, i was restless and jaded and i felt unappreciated, unproductive and used. i was yearning to get out, as soon as possible, and move on to something, anything, that offered me more oppurtunity and more of a future.

saturday marked my 15 month anniversary at my current company, and i'm in no hurry to leave. this means that this job is now the longest job i've ever held and, god willing, i'll be here for the foreseeable future.

but i'm getting nervous about myself. i have noticed in recent years my tendency to get restless about things after awhile. everything in my life has a lifespan. for my old apartment it was nine months. i worked at forbed for just over ten months before going completely stir crazy. it will be about 16 months when i move out of my apartment in april. and i get on certain kicks every once in a while that don't end up lasting very long: dieting, working out, cooking, etc.

why can't i just be happy with the way things are? i think its because i like a good challenge and i am constantly striving to live better and be happier. i keep hoping that upgrading things in my life, like my apartment and my job, will make me feel more comfortable and happy in the big wide world of new york city.

but the more i struggle to find my perfect living and working situation, the more i worry that i won't be completely happy until i live in a big house with a yard for my dog somewhere in the woods, where i work from home as a famous author and freelance writer.

what? it could happen.