(500) Days of Summer, why are you my life?

last night, i saw this indie film that has been getting a lot of buzz recently: (500) Days of Summer. while i enjoyed it overall, the movie hit a little close to home. i went home feeling a little bummed out and last night i had a horrible dream -- which was undoubtedly spurred by feelings conjured up by the film. if you don't mind having the end of the movie spoiled, read on to find out why.

the movie is the story of a relationship between tom and summer. tom is looking for "the one" and thinks he found it in summer, a cute girl working in his office. the plot device for the movie is that tom and summer's relationship -- from beginning to end -- lasted 500 days. they meet at day 1, they hook up around day 30 and break up around 290.

so why, you may ask, does their relationship continue for an additional 210 days after their break up? well, that is the time it takes tom to get over summer. 210 days, which is roughly 7 months. and while tom is getting over the girl who he thought was his soulmate, summer starts dating someone else, gets engaged and GETS MARRIED.

who does that, you may ask. well, it happens more often than you know.

it took my ex 10 months to get engaged after we broke up, but still, i can relate. tom and summer had been dating less than a year and it took him seven months to get over her. after two and half years you think someone would have to do some mourning.

what was even more heartbreaking was what summer told tom during their final meeting near the end of the 500 days. she was already married, he wasn't even over her yet. their ideas on love have been reversed. he no longer believes in soulmates, fate or destiny. and summer, the girl who claimed she didn't want a relationship, that she didn't want to be "anyone's anything," let alone someone's girlfriend, suddenly believes in fate. he asks why she changed her view of the world.

"i just woke up one day and knew," she said (i'm paraphrasing to the best of my memory.) "everything i had questioned with you."

that's just it, what i've always said and believed when it comes to love. when you are with the RIGHT person, you never want to not be with them. you know, right away, that you want to be with them forever and never let them go. it's heartbreaking, however, when you feel that way about someone and they don't feel that way about you. the feelings need to be mutual. and you can learn this early on. don't waste your time with someone who will never feel that way with you. i did. and it's one of my biggest regrets.

but to say i regret does not mean i haven't moved on. just like tom, i've met my autumn, and i'm pretty happy about where that relationship has taken me. i have no regrets whatsoever.