sad

there has been nothing good about this week. and its only tuesday.

while i've been struggling to deal with the horrific stories that are coming out of virginia, i was hit with a personal tragedy of my own.

on sunday night, while driving home from officiating a gymnastics' meet, my high school field hockey coach, rosemarie carlucci, swerved off the road in her suv and was killed. she was 57.

she was a gym and health teacher at middle and high schools in stamford before retiring a few years ago to tackle breast cancer. she coached gymnastics, field hockey, tennis and softball. after retiring, she continued to coach. she was a pillar of the community and well known and respected in stamford, westhill, and fairfield county athletic circles.

she had beaten cancer. she had more of life ahead of her. this is very sad.

i met her in 1998 as a freshman. she was one of the first people i met, my first day of high school, when i decided that i wanted to maybe play field hockey. she was also my health teacher my very first half year of high school. she taught me cpr.

as head coach of the varsity field hockey team, ms. carlucci coached me for four years, even though she wasn't my direct coach. i may have hated her during those 8 a.m. saturday morning practices, but she taught me to put my head down, shut up and run hard. run through the pain. although i'm not completely sure of this, i think she nominated me for the scholar athelete award i won senior year. she loved things like that.

ms. carlucci was a surprising, funny woman with a sharp wit. when i knew her she was dramatically overweight, but when she was younger she was a gymnast, and there were rumors that she could still do a split. she sat on a metal folding chair next to the goal during practice. i heard she had a thyroid problem which caused her weight gain. i also had heard she had lost a lot of weight in recent years, i assume because of her illness.

in her obituary in the stamford paper today, there was a description of a classic carlucci moment:

"In the 2005 interview, Ms. Carlucci told The Advocate that after chemotherapy caused her hair to fall out, she bought a wig but couldn't resist tipping it now and then to get a reaction from the girls."

she had no husband or children, and i never saw her with a date, male or female. she did have sisters and brothers, neices and nephews. she came from a big stamford family.

i know she is being mourned back in stamford, and i'm sad that i'm not there to greive with those who knew her the way i did. yes, its true that when someone passes away we forget all the bad things we thought or knew of them while they were alive. but i can count the number of positive female role models i had growing up on one hand, and she would be one of them. she knew me during my formidible years and, in her own small way, contributed to the person i am today.

and although i know that my loss and the loss of my community can not compare to what is happening in virginia, her death is senseless. she was a good soul and deserved a long and healthy life filled with more warm spring afternoons sitting next to the tennis courts behind westhill.

she will be missed.

my thoughts and prayers go out to all tonight.