strangers like to talk to me

i have never considered myself drop dead, jaw droppingly gorgeous, but if i listened to all the catcalls i hear on a daily basis, i might start to get a big head. don't get me wrong, this is not a flattering. its unsettling, embarassing and disconcerting.

take today for example. walking from the subway to my apartment, some guys my age or younger were sitting on a stoop. they said something to me, like, "hey." i ignored them of course. 15 minutes later, i left my apartment again and passed them again. this time their comments were more intrusive. something to the effect of "you're gorgeous, sexy." i ignored them and heard them say as i walked past, "what, i don't even get a dirty look?" like they were trying to get a rise out of me. later in the night, as i was returning to my apartment once again, a man in a car driving past rolled down his window and yelled something rude at me.

what am i supposed to do with this? sometimes i think a certain outfit, a short dress or high heels attract more stares and inappropriate comments. but sneakers, jeans and a t-shirt sometimes attract even more notice. what gives?

this weekend, i found myself facing similar unwanted attention, albeit in a less threatening environment. it all started when the train to stamford pulled up to the station at 125th st in harlem. i was on my way to my parents' house after the yankess game, so i was catching the train in harlem instead of at grand central like usual.

there were a lot of people waiting at the station, because of the game, so when the train pulled up i ran toward the front to the first car in order to get a seat by myself. i found myself running toward the front of the car with two guys who were probably a few years older than me, and once we boarded the train i sought out a seat alone but they followed me. i had my headphones on and was trying to see distracted, looking out the window and fiddling with my purse, so that they wouldn't talk to me. but i couldn't escape it.

the more agressive of the two said something to me, which i ignored. i pretended not to hear him. then he tapped me on the leg. i hate that. i couldn't escape it then. i looked at him without taking out my headphones. he asked me if i was at the game, if i had gone by myself (yeah, that's probable), and my ipod. eventually the conversation petered out and i went back to my own world.

but that wasn't the end of it.

a few minutes later, annoying guy got my attention again. i am too nice, i think. i just can't sit feet from someone and flat out ignore them. but sometimes i wish i could. the conversation went something like this:

annoying guy: so i'm from la. and i have to say, the girls out here on the east coast are gorgeous. but every girl i've met here has a boyfriend.
me: yeah, i would say about 90% of my friends have boyfriends. but i'm sure if you haven't met one single girl you are just going to the wrong places.
ag: at least the girls here are nicer than they are in california. you could be sitting this far away from a girl in la trying to talk to her and she would be completely ignoring you, acting like you're not even here.

and the whole time, all i could think was how much i wished i could have just ignored them. maybe us east coast girls aren't that different from our west coast counterparts after all.