revelation

i know everyone says this but i really it this time...

i am turning into my mother

i just finished poking and prodding my face in front of the mirror in my childhood bathroom (there is excellent light in there) and i am now positive that this inevitability is in fact very real .. and the transformation is ocurring right before my eyes.

i've always thought that i looked like other people (my grandmother, my father) but the older i get, the more of my mom i can see in myself. it's evident in my feet, my legs and even the way my skin feels. sometimes when i'm on the eliptical at the gym and my arm is bent in such a way, my arm looks slightly familiar.

so parts of my body are looking less like mine, and more like hers.

don't get me wrong, she has aged beautifully. 53 and barely a sign of graying and or wrinkles.

at worst, her skin betrays her age--sunspots, moles and freckles reveal 20+ years of sun damage in a pre-sunscreen era.

but i can honestly say my mom doesn't look a day over 45.

still, when i see hints of her in my own body, i see the way i remember my mom when she was only 10 years old than i am now. so it's not too much for a leap.

but is my memory poor or am i aging too quickly? i worry that i don't wear enough sunscreen, don't apply enough lotion, don't eat a healthy diet and live a stressful lifestyle. any of these things can contribute to aging, and i am scared!