what's for dinner?

today is my second night on plan (weight watchers code for "on weight watchers") and i was almost tempted to eat pizza for dinner. its an easy trap to fall into for me, maybe worse so for me than others that are on plan.

ever since moving out of my parents' house six years ago, dinner has been my least favorite part of the day. it wasn't too bad when i lived in a dorm and didn't have to cook for myself. at least i had options and they were basically free. i did okay for myself in my first apartment in boston, too, although that lifestyle may also have contributed to my dramatic senior year weight loss. (many nights i skipped dinner and ate gummy peach rings and diet coke instead)

but as soon as i moved on nyc my dinner prospects went downhill. as it stands now, most nights i eat alone, and cooking for one is a difficult balancing act of portion control and ingredients on hand. it also doesn't help matters that i don't especially like to eat leftovers. so i don't have the recipes for one, my pantry and refridgerator are basically empty, and i hate my kitchen. if i have to cook something, i'd have to buy all the ingredients (oil, spices, butter, etc.) and that can get heavy and expensive (remember i have to carry all my groceries home 6 blocks from the store). i might as well just order in and have it hand delivered to me.

but i have come to learn that ordering in for one is just as depressing as cooking for one. maybe even more so, because you broadcast to the world, or at least the person who takes your order and brings it to you, that you are alone alone alone.

it has also become quite clear to me that the best delivery foods are really really bad for you. think about it. pizza, chinese, thai, sandwiches and fried foods are all really good delivered. salads, mexican and burgers don't make good delivery items. i would love to get a big dinner salad when i'm home in brooklyn, but i have yet to find a good place that is close enough for me to pick up, and i don't want to have them delivered because a lot can go wrong with a delivery salad, i've found.

so, alternatively, i fall back on my standbys. pizza, eggplant parm wedges, chicken and broccoli and pad thai are my favorites. but when i'm on plan, its no more parm, no more pad thai. i can eat pizza sparingly, which is very sad for me because its my favorite food in the whole world.

so i have to make a choice if i want to stay on plan and lose weight and not go crazy from too much chinese food. i can either stock up and start to cook for myself, saving extras from dinner for lunch the next day. or, i can spend more time and money getting the salad bar from whole foods every night for dinner. that's one thing about eating badly: its cheap. as the scale goes down, so goes my bank account!