how can i live like this

i am so unhappy and frustrated right now i can't even explain. i just don't understand the sheer audicity and carelessness.

i live in an apartment almost completely furnished with my things, yet i can make a small (but growing!) list of things that have been broken, ruined, lost, damaged or stained since i moved in less than a year ago. the worst part...is not that these things happen, its that they keep happening and are continually hidden from me.

this, of course, makes me so paranoid i look for things to be ruined and broken and used and destroyed. but sadly, i find them whether i'm looking or not.

its enough to make me want to move out altogether.

i'm fed up.