would you live with me?

so i think i have alluded in past posts to the fact that i've been searching for a place to live via craig's list. basically i'm doing that because i can't afford a studio or one-bed in the neighborhood i want to live in (park slope) and i don't know anyone who wants to move in with me. so my options are few. find a place on craig's list to move into, sacrifice some space and pack up some of the furniture i currently own, and save on a broker's fee and maybe even a security deposit. the second option is to advertise on craig's list for someone to apartment hunt with me, thus still living with a stranger but being able to still keep my furniture but then having to pay a broker's fee. since i have 3 months left on my lease, i'm trying option #1 until mid-september. so far, i've been searching for 3 weeks with no luck.

here's what i've been faced with:

"the room is medium/large and...is very private but does not have a traditional door (NOT railroad style)...am only looking for a roomie who is an animal lover, queer-friendly and preferably vegan." = this was the front room of a one bedroom apartment. The current tenant lived in the real bedroom in the back, and there was hallway that was a living room. instead of a door the room had japanese-type screens. the tenant was also transgender, and preferred not to be referred to as SHE or HE, and was undergoing some sort of surgery soon. i'm not prejudiced, but that's a lot to throw on someone in an initial meeting. also no meat allowed...which i think would get old. the room was also not so great and no room for any other furniture!

"one of two studios in available in a garden-level apartment...huge plus: private garden with table, chairs, hammock and bbq in the back!" this place was actually pretty cool, but very old. the bathroom and kitchen looked outdated, and hard to keep clean. there was no common space, besides the garden, kitchen and bathroom, and the rooms had no REAL doors. the tenant told me she had so many applicants she picked names out of a hat. i don't know if i believe that one...

"one bedroom available in two bedroom apartment...there is no living room, so the kitchen is as big as the bedrooms...you would share the apartment with me: a laid-back 27-year-old sigur ross listening, farmer's market going friendly female artist " this place was nice, too, but the current tenant decided to go with someone closer to her age. i guess that's ok, since the room was nice but there was no place for overflow furniture. and i have no idea who sigur ross is.

"I have a room available in a great apartment...the room is on the small side." this place was nice, but the room was small, with a tiny window. odd shaped, too. but i would get my own closet. but the weirdest thing happened. i saw the apartment, voiced my interested, the tenant said she would call me, and the next day i saw it reposted on craig's list! i guess she didn't like me afterall. she was older than me, maybe in her 30's, so it kind of makes sense.

so here's where i am now. i have two strong leads, but both of them could fall through. i want to know if i'm going to have a place to live september 1 so i can get my stuff in order, tell my landlord, cancel my cable and electricity, plan for friends to help me move and make arrangements to take off work. so it makes me wonder...what's wrong with me? would i make a good roommate? i think i would.

i'm trying to think of all the complaints i've had from former roommates.

jennifer and i lived together for 4 years. the first two years we shared a room. at first she didn't like that i talked on the phone to my boyfriend at night when she was trying to go to sleep. i didn't like when her alarm would go off for her 8 am class and she would sleep through it (to be fair she had mono first semester). she didn't like when i threw stuffed animals at her to wake her up when she was sleeping through her alarm. i didn't like how she would sexile me. she didn't like that i talked about her sexiling me with our friends behind her back.

in the end, we settled our differences and lived together another year. we got along fine, but i will always regret the way she sided with other people and not with me on issues (that may be more a best friend complaint than a roommate one, since we were both). like against our other roommate lindsay. she was a typical younger child attention hungry spoiled brat. everything that happened to her was the worst thing that had ever happened to anyone. one time she told me that i didn't know what it was like to be prejudiced against, because she was a jew and grew up in a suburb of st. louis, which according to her was not very jew-friendly (i find it hard to believe). i shot back at her that my high school was made up of 63% minorities, and that in fact i did know what it felt like to be a minority, thanks to those four years of my life. that shut her up. ha.

anyway, this suite that we lived in sophomore year had 3 double bedrooms, a common space, and a bathroom (two sinks, shower/bath and toilet). for the greater part of the first semester, i was the only one who cleaned the bathroom. imagine 6 girls all using a bathroom and no one sweeping or cleaning the drain or sinks! (what i did find in the shower drain is another story completely) i went out and bought cleaning supplies and mopped and washed with a few grumbles, but i didn't make a big deal out of it. i think i mentioned to everyone that the stuff was there for them to use. everyone in the apartment was pretty laid back (except me) so no one really bothered to clean unless is was really unsightly or if someone's parents were visiting.

eventually something happened (a break up, a particularly debilitating bout with a bladder infection, a visit from a parent) to push lindsay over the edge. she got all huffy and cleaned the suite from top to bottom, loudly bitching the whole time that no one except HER ever pulled their weight. she made a JOB CHART. i was furious. that is the sort of thing that drives me crazy about roommates...

the next year jennifer and i moved in with our guy friends, steve, dan and tony. the living arrangement ended badly, but while we were there it wasn't so bad. by january of our first year, i had implemented a job chart, which i think pissed off the roommates. but everyone complied. they would get mad at me for things like insisting people did their jobs when they were supposed to. i was definitely accused of being a cleaning nazi and uptight. cleaning up after parties especially irked me, but for the most part we worked together on the tough stuff and didn't have much trouble that first year. steve and dan left for the summer and when they returned the job chart went to hell. the second year we lived there i think we cleaned maybe 4 times. there were dust bunnies the size of actual bunnies in our hallway, and the bathroom...i think i've blocked it out.

so is that the worst of it? roommates don't like me because i like everyone to pull their weight and keep the common areas clean? no, i also liked bills paid on time. i didn't like asking them for rent or utilities money. i wanted them to just give it to me. i don't think that ever happened. maybe once.

so maybe i expect a lot of my roommates. they need to be tidy, neat, and considerate. they need to not eat my food and make sure there old food doesn't stay in the fridge too long. they need to value the things that i value: respect, honesty, and openness. i know i knocked on steve's door many times when i had boy problems, but we were friends for a long time. i would never expect that from a roommate now, unless we became friends over the course of time.

right now i'm just looking for people to want me and accept me for a year. a year from now i might be moving in with matt, i might be taking another job somewhere else, i might be looking for another place. i would like to make friends forever with my future roommates, but i'll settle for people that i can get along with and live with civilly, and even happily. i might be young, but i think and act older. i have an older boyfriend. i want older things. i haven't had more than 2 drinks in one night since...mid-july. i do weight watchers. i like sudoku and the ny times crossword. i'm harmless, friendly, and i know i can be fun! i have friends, and a boyfriend. they like me, why wouldn't you, potential roommate??

well? would YOU live with me??