feeling a bit better

i think i wrote in an earlier post that sometimes things are so emotional i just can't write about it. i need some time to think it over, mull over my decisions and the things that happen to me, process it, and then regurgitate into the blog. the past few days, with job juggling and my incredibly important interview, i haven't had time to discuss it here.

so, as i wrote last week, i was offered the marketing position on wednesday evening. thursday i got an interview at page six, which was at first scheduled for friday and then pushed back to yesterday.

i was so torn about the marketing position from the beginning. it seemed like a great job, for a growing company, but doing something i didn't know about and wasn't sure i wanted as a career. one thing i know for sure: i want my next job to be the start of my career. i'm young, but i'm experienced, and i don't want to ditch all my experience and start anew. all i needed to hear was my boss saying, "if i was going to hire a reporter i would look at someone that had 18 months to two years at a magazine instead of a year at a magazine and then a year in marketing for no reason." now, i don't forsee myself at forbes for another year, but if it happens i might not be that upset with it.

uh-oh. i can hear you all screaming "wha??" and doing a spit take. sometimes it takes a good talk with my mom to remind me that things aren't so bad. i just wrote an article for forbes.com (due to be published soon hopefully), so the potential is there for me to write more for them, and i feel reenergized now that i know i want to focus on becoming a reporter or writer. if i stick around for a few more months i'll be given more projects, and i'm sure i'll get more responsibility on the celeb list this coming year.

so yes, i turned down the marketing job. it really was a hard decision, but after making it, i felt good about the choice.

so i have a new plan. i'm going to continue to apply for jobs, blast my resume out to editors at magazines around town, and keep pitching and writing. this will mean some late hours for me, and realy buckling down.

so what changed? it wasn't just the page six interview (more on that tk) but a major life overhaul. first of all, i love my apartment and my roommate and i think having that part of my life settled has really invigorated me. second, i wrote this story for forbes.com that i had pitched months ago, and loved every second of reporting and writing it. that reminded me why i got into this business to begin with, and made me feel like i'm accomplishing something. third, the project matt has been working on for months is finally winding down, and i can feel his calm extending to me...no more stress for us. and i finally am getting some time with my honey back. best of all, in three weeks i'll be on a boat steaming its way to the caribbean!!

i feel the waves of change a-coming...