strange turn of events

i spoke to someone from my past today. someone who i didn't think i would ever speak to again. the conversation left me feeling even more empty than i would have had we not talked at all.

there will always be people in your life that fade away. whether one of you decides to officially end the relationship, or one of you moves away, or you start to speak less often, or you just lose touch, relationships come and go. in my experience, relationships have a habit of coming and going quite frequently. i think i have may have mentioned that my oldest friend, dave, only dates back to fifth grade. i didn't speak to him for a few years at the beginning of college, but somehow we found our way back to each other.

and come to think of it, i guess my true oldest friend would be amy and the other rockland girls. we were never really too close, until recently, now that we're all out of college and most of us are back in the ny metro area. and we can email to keep in touch.

so what does it mean to stop talking to someone for a few months? i don't consider it significant unless years go by without any contact. this time, i thought i would never reconnect with this person again. i thought i would never hear from him, but lo and behold, i did.

what now? not sure. i guess we got caught up. so now there's nothing left to say. i think, for the moment, its best for me to keep my distance. i'll be here if he wants to chat some more, but it would be too hard for us to be friends right now. life is too complicated.

there's no way to change the past.